Last year on the podcast, Jerry Colonna said something that deeply resonated with me: how are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?

You don’t want to be stressed? Why do you keep leaving important projects and tasks until the last minute?

You don’t want to be tired? Why do you keep starting Netflix shows at 10p.m.?

You don’t want to be so unhealthy? Why do you keep eating Taco Bell three times a week?

None of those questions have easy answers, but when you ask yourself that question and then evaluate every area of your life that you’re not happy with, I’m sureyou might find a few things that are creating—or helping to create—the conditions you say you’re not happy with.

I see this almost every day at school. I overhear people say how they’re so confused in Contracts or Civil Procedure, and then I see them online shopping during class or bragging (I guess?) about how they were too busy over the weekend to do the reading.

Like…you’re confused because you’re not paying attention and aren’t doing the reading. That is not a hard conclusion to draw; it’s a very simple cause and effect pattern. Those people are creating their confusion and then complaining about it! I simply don’t understand.

It’s like if you stabbed yourself in the hand everyday and then went around going, “Man my hand hurts really bad. This is super annoying because it’s making it harder to do other stuff in life.” Like, okay, stop stabbing your hand. Problem solved!

I’m not saying that just because you’re struggling or are unhappy in a certain area in your life that it’s 100% your fault, because that’s just simply not true. But, I bet there are a few things—a good amount of things maybe—that you do cause, or at least add to the causing, through your behavior somehow. I know I have those things for me.

Ask yourself: How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?

And then ask: What am I going to do about it?